Saturday, September 25, 2010

Saturday Love - 念旧

Can somebody please tell me if I am abnormal or there's an absence of certain values in me? You see, almost all people that I know have momento boxes where they keep presents or cards from all of their previous relationships till date, etc. But I don't. Even my sister who is the most like minded person I've ever known has one of those momento boxes.

Though I have never explicitly ask her, or in fact anyone else, about the reason behind keeping those stuffs after the end of each relationship,.. I believe it's for some sort of keepsake and memory aid thing right? But.. honestly, what for? I don't particularly love recalling about my past dates, and relationships. Which explains why I don't keep any of those stuffs with me. Aren't we suppose to be always looking forward, and not live in the past? Won't it be like picking on a scab? I always believe that, if certain past emotions, or feeling is meant to be remembered, you will remember it; There's absolutely no need to be reminded. Either you remember the hurt the person caused you during the breakup, or how wrong you were to end that relationship. Or, how happy you were at that relationship compared to the current. In my opinion, there is absolutely no need to be reminded about those stuffs as you will start comparing. But, don't we all know that love should not be compared. So, bottom line. No need for momento thingie for keep sake. Put them in the trashcan. There should only be one regret max (and that is when the object hit the pit of the trashcan). And never to be reminded again. (Damn, I think I sound heartless.)

It is quite (in fact, very) uncomfortable to know that my boyfriend has stuffs from his previous relationships, and is holding onto them for keepsake. I mean, it is necessary? But then again, is it necessary for me to have him dispose them away? I don't know.

I believe there is a clash of culture and/or attitude towards life. I bet mummy doesn't keep ANY stuffs from her past relationships,.. hmm, I might be too quick to say. Ugh. But I have to say that, reminiscing about the past is fairly common. Otherwise there wouldn't be this word 念旧 alr. Right?..

Sigh, I'm just different.. I just hate to re-access my past relationships. And I just hate it that Mr Salty might be comparing, or re-living the happy moments and what-nots in his mind,.. despite his umpteen times of reassurance. 

(P.s. pardon me if there's grammer error or funny sentence structure error. Can't really read what I typed while typing on the iPhone. Screen is too small..)


  1. Har? Still keeping the previous relationshps' stuff 4 wat? zz
    I nvr keep, but nvr give back as well, jz forget about the stuff n lost it dy, coz they're nt important anymore...
    My bf nvr keep the ex's stuff as well...
    We deleted the pics of our ex directly after the break up, 1st : to forget about them, 2nd : To be fair to our nez lover.
    By the way, my bf shares the same birthday as me n he's the same age as me too, so we're kinda like indirect twins =)
    Mayb ur bf used 2 reli love his ex b4...i guess he's a super loyal type gua...If u break up wit him coz of the momento box, he sure wil throw it away 4 ur sake...
    Wen i was wit my ex, he used 2 keep his ex stuff too, summore he said he stil loves her, but wil nvr get her back, I was the 2nd place in his heart, he said like tat 2 me zzz
    So i wanted 2 break up, he was shocked, he threw all his ex stuff in order 2 get me back..But it was too late, the harsh words couldn't be taken back mah, wil always kept in my mind if I was still with him..
    Jz share my words loh, hope u dun mind =)
    If ur bf reli loves u, den u dun hv 2 worry, is like he's keeping a dead person's stuff, u knw? coz its a stuff they'll nvr want back dy, it's rare, so jz keep loh...
    I guess tat wat he's thinking =)

  2. Hey Everlyn. Thanks for your comment! :) Love to read such a long response from you.. Guess I am not weird after all. Anw, yep. He really did love her. OUCH. Honestly, I rather him not. Lol!

  3. Hey, i don't keep stuff too! Anyhow say.. I only keep them to show that whoever guy at that time, and forgot to throw them away after the breakup! Only thing i cant bear to throw is this tiny coke can we got from either taiwan or thailand, thats a bit irrelevant oh well.

    But i feel that making a conscious effort to "erase memories" by throwing away everything that might remind you of someone is a bit immature. 

  4. LOL! You have alot of stuffs in the cupboard what! And YES the coke can is irrelevant. Hahaa.
    Anw.. Not conscious effort to FORGET by throwing things away. It's just no need to be constantly, and consciously reminded. Where immature!?

  5. Always read ur blog, of course giv long comment wen its a post tat i can finally comment, lolx..
    Anyway, he reli did love her, u cnt do anything too rite?
    Jz feel glad tat the gal left him n made him 2 meet u, if nt coz of her, mayb he wouldn't think u're his type...get it?
    Every guys can change their taste on gals actually =) I guess inclusing gals too? =P
    Coz he felt the feeling of losing was so hurt b4, he wont lose u, trust me =)
    B glad n thankful 2 his ex, nth 2 worry about actually ^^
    Y u nvr post his pics huh?
    Suddenly wanna c his face..lolx

  6. i dun keep stuff too, but only becoz my cupboard/drawer has no more space haha. i love talking abt my past relationships though =x i'm just happy that i've learnt so much from them.

    my bf has this momento box too! but i dun mind la. it's quite fun to read them anyway lol.

    i'm sure mr salty is not comparing u or whatsoever! must have faith in him. and yourself! he dun have to compare coz u're the best alr ;)

  7. Haha, trying to be secretive. :) He doesn't like to be so exposed online. So,.. not many people actually knows who he is.

  8. Woah. Haha. I don't particularly love talking about my past relationship, I don't enjoy listening about his past either. Lol. But honestly, I have only 2 exbfs (let's not talk about dates here), and it's rather heart wrenching to think about the endings of those relationships (judging that it's the in a serious rls kind)..
    Anyway, you're good! Haha. I don't read those stuff, and I don't want to read lo. In fact, I didn't even want to know how his exgf looks like. BUT HE JUST SHOW ME WTH. But thank god it's her*. Cos I kinda read her blog and like her even before knowing that she's his ex. :)
    I just feel a lil unease when he cherish an object which I know that it's not in me to give him something likewise to even match up to it.. You see, I'm never the girly girl that knows romance. I'm just candid and straigtforward. How to produce romantic stuffs sial!?

  9. Actually I think by keeping all the stuffs from previous relationship will directly affect the next relationship. My boyf and I are tgt for 2 years and both of us never even keep a single thing at all. I suppose a normal human being will be jealous when you see those items still lying at your bf or gf house lo. People say keeping those stuffs will let them remember the happy moments from their previous relationships, but when you think of the happy moments, eventually you'll think of the time of breakup.
    And I have to disagree that throwing all the stuffs away is an immatured act, I think it's the opposite way. It's like, WHY KEEP? Lol -.-.

    Anyway I think you should talk to him. Let him know you're quite uncomfortable with him keeping all the stuffs. Sometimes they need us to remind them or tell them then they'll aware that we are not happy or why we are not happy :)