Wednesday, February 23, 2011

The aftermath.

Like what one of my blog reader, Eve said,.. The aftermath is indeed hell. I'm a very egoistic person, and this hurt me bad. Fighting those negativity is indeed very tough. I am trying my very best ward them off, but the soreness just keep coming back.

I doubt every whatsapp he received, every email he sent, every phone call he made. I have the urge to check his messages, and the urge to ransack his facebook - to look at every message he sent, and every message he received. 

This is crazy. This is disgusting. This isn't me. But, I just can't help it.. 
Damn, I feel very tiny, very weak.

This is the irony of life.
Admitting to mistakes is easy, acceptance is hard. 
Our foolishness, and our mistakes hurts others more than they gna hurt ourselves.
As it will be easy for us to admit, but is it going to be easy for them to accept?


  1. seriously lah, just dump him.

  2. hello girl! jiayou ok! i know how it feels like totally! Its been one yr already since tt incident can you believe it .. and i've transformed from someone very carefree n bo chap to this very insecure and paranoid girl!! arghhh hate myself this way too ): and its perfectly normal to have the urge to check his hp/fb. i do that too.. and worst is when i saw smth i shouldn't have i cannot voice it out!! coz he would definitely accuse me of invading his privacy. hai~ saw this quote that used to make me feel better last time : Forgiveness is not a sign of weakness – it is a sign of strength. Holding onto bitterness and anger is much easier than letting it go. Forgiving doesn’t mean you have to forget. Forgiveness means accepting what happened, honoring the pain, and putting it away.

    But then again it's not easy at all man.. just have to keep having faith!

  3. The truth hurts gal, it's never easy to accept. Forgiveness though possible mean trust will be lost. That is for him to earn again and for you to decide if that's what you want. Remember that the hardest thing in life is letting go.......

    End of the day the decision you make should be one that allows you to be happy and no one has right to think or make that decision for you. God bless

  4. Hey Sam, in contrary, I feel that the hardest thing is to stay, fight the hurt, and battle through the blizzard.

    I find letting go a choice too easy to be made. Letting go is like giving up, and giving up is an act of weakness. I know, as I was once weak. I gave up on my previous relationship (but that's a whole different story).

    Like I've said, I know it's tough, but I am trying my best already. :) Both of us are praying to god every night, hoping to be guided to the right path again, and to cast any animosity aside. God bless you as well. Thanks sam.

  5. From a guy's point of view:
    I don't see why he won't do it again. Because he promise he won't do it again? But then again, didn't he say he won't be in contact with her? DON'T LET HIM TAKE YOU FOR GRANTED!

    I agree that letting go is probably the easy way out, but I don't agree that letting go = giving up = act of weakness. It takes great courage and strength to let go of things, esp when deep down inside you really don't want to.


  6. "Instead of giving myself reasons why I can't, I give myself reasons why I can."

  7. don't mind me saying this but his excuse about the whole thing (prank + low batt) is kinda lame and an insult to your intelligence.

  8. You have gone through what he has, and you know how it feels to be on both sides. Deep down you already know the answer to all this, so no one can decide for you. Don't bother listening to anyone for this is a decision that will only affect the both of you, not anyone else.


  9. Once the trust is gone, it’s hard to get it back. Take it as it goes. If you can't stand it anymore, better to cut it short than live in suspicion for the rest of your life.