I'm currently in this very rough patch of my life and I feel terrible bottling everything up inside. Due to my hectic lifestyle, I've been pushing all my stress, troubles, and issues all the way into the back alley, right at the pit of my heart. And all of a sudden, everything is just too overwhelming for me to handle. So, I thought of my long forsaken blog. At least this is an outlet. A black white space. For me to sort out my thoughts.
In a gist, the biggest issue that is ripping the life off of me is, my family. Though my mother (and older sister) can't see it (they claim that I don't love my family, I disregard them etc, wtf), family is an important aspect of my life. And so my mother was, freaking-accompanied-with-god's-wrath-pissed with me, and she want me out of the house. So, counting down as of now, I have exactly 5 days to move out.
After that session of earsore and slaughtering of all of our hearts two days back, there is exactly 2 problems (which are kinda inter-related, but I didn't get the chance to explain to her) which she has, and there's no other solutions but for me to move out.
The major problem that she has is that I am gay. So, for those who don't already know, I am attached to my current girlfriend for 2months already. So, I kinda managed to only hide it from my mum for that long. She finally found out when I accidentally left my tumblr link with a picture of me and her on my Facebook fanpage (I usually remove the link).
The major problem that she has is that I am gay. So, for those who don't already know, I am attached to my current girlfriend for 2months already. So, I kinda managed to only hide it from my mum for that long. She finally found out when I accidentally left my tumblr link with a picture of me and her on my Facebook fanpage (I usually remove the link).
-brb-
no parents will be forever angry with their children. find a chance to sit down calmly and chat with her, i am sure you can make her feel how much you feel for the family
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately, everybody goes through a rough patch somewhere sometime during their 'growing up period'. Even after that, you would be going through what we call the mid-life crisis. It just seems that every period during our lifetime, we go through rough patches for a certain period. But guess what, everything clears itself off after sometime. I am sure things will be much better. Maybe a day, a week, a month or even a year. We do not know how long this would take but we do know it would work out.
ReplyDeleteAs for your difference of 'orientation', I'm afraid most parents would be loathed to accept such situations with regards to their own children. It is your decision but sometimes the decisions we make does not sit well with our parents and unfortunately, for you, this is one of those that causes problem. I think you should get a place at your friends' and chill out for a bit and probably see if things work out with your parents. Probably a heart-to-heart talk would be needed but these are often difficult considering that she's in the pissed-off mode.
But anyway, good luck with everything and the here's to hoping everything turns out well for you!
Cheers.
Cheer up babe!
ReplyDeleteHappen to stumble upon this and guess it's pretty healthy to air out the stress that you are facing in life. And reading this post, I can understand why they will be pissed.. being asian and probably conservative, this is one of the last thing she will expect of her daughter... and in life, we can choose friends but we can't choose our family. But as you highlighted and mentioned family IS an important aspect of your life. And probably deep down in your heart you love them. And since seeing each other will cause it all being emotionally draining and chaotic, the next best thing is to write a letter to your mum. But before writing, there are a few things to think about rationally: Is this relationship that you are currently in worth the sacrifice of...... family ties. i have cousins who are gay too and their relationships with their parents are changed forever,as good as being dis-owned so to speak. Next is are you really gay? Or are you just experimenting, or because due to past relationships with guys that you came to the conclusion.. F**k it! all guys are bastards... I'll just get a girl, at least she understands me... or something to that extent. And since it's only 2 months, the excitement of this relationship is still there... but will this excitement last the test of time? maybe... The truth about love is that it still demands some sort of giving in,sacrifice and sometimes making difficult choices. So that's probably the dilemma, the fork in the road...which one/way should you choose.. but you probably already know the answer deep within your heart. :X
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